No Complaints

Suffice it to say that Friday night was not one
where I slept a lot.
Saturday afternoon I tried to take a nap to make up
for the deficit, but it didn't happen.
So, when it came time to go to practice, I was tried,
sore, and thinking it would much better to stay home,
watch the latest NetFlix DVD's to arrive in my mail
box, and go into recovery mode.
That wasn't what I did.
No.
I went to practice like a good girl.
Lucky me, after a spectator warm up show, we started
out with one of our younger skaters leading the pace
line for some catch the pack so the pace was blessedly
slow.
I'll be darned.
Catching felt good..
I even "asked" to go back out again at the very end.
Our substitute coach of the night said he'd go with me,
and couldn't keep up..
Later we moved onto relays, and after an exhausting
period of two person teams made up of a fast and slower
skater, and going out every two laps, we were formed into
three teams, (mine had five), and it was out every lap.
Man o' man..
It got to a point where I was dying..and I had to let the
coach know.
"one more tag"
OK.
I hammered it.
Don't know where I got the juice from, other than shear
will power alone, but I really hammered it.
What had gotten into me?
Go girl, go!
And then I was done.
For the night.
So, it was a short practice for me, but a good one..

Relief

There was a long pace line at practice last night, with
a handful of skaters from other teams joining us.
The more the merrier!
And it was a relief to get moving again. I was beginning
to feel like a lazy slug with so much time off.
My wheels found the floor slick, and I felt the need to skate
cautiously, so no passing even when the opportunity presented
itself.
With my right knee still bruised and sore, and my left MLC
iffy, I'm not taking any chances for now.
Woke up with my lower right back gitchy, but it's just from
non-use and then use.
It will pass.
All in all, even though Nationals is out of the picture for
me in 2008, I believe I'm going to kick it up another notch
this season.
Might not ever be the best, but I will be a damn sight better
than I was when I started out.
LOL

Talked to my son last night about me dating.
After it just being him and I for eight years, it was important
for me to know just how he was feeling about the changes in my
life.
Getting it out in the open was the right thing to do and now I
can move forward with a clear mind.

On Idle

Not sleeping through the night,
both knees hurt,
left hip hurts
I need to skate..

Christmas Cheer

Got together yesterday with friends and family over a table
heaped with good food and drink, and had a great day :)
Hitching a ride to the festivities and back, I was able to
enjoy a few glasses of red with dinner, and was feeling fine
by wine in no time at all.
lol
It's my favorite way to spend Christmas day, and I truly
enjoyed catching up with the people I don't see that often.

Back to work today, and I am looking forward to it.
Having six days off was simply wonderful..
Got a lot done, got a lot of rest and going back on a three
day work week is the way to go!
Five days off skating and I can't wait to get back out on the
floor.
I miss it.
Making plans for New Years..
MM,MM,MM..

MM, MM, MM

As Patti Labelle sang it..

OK.
I wore jeans, short sleeved shirt with matching
jacket, gold hoop earrings and a small amount of
gel in my hair.
LOL
During dinner, the waiter was jokingly accused of
flirting with me, so I guess I looked OK.
;)
Afterwards we walked around the grounds of Peddlers
Village in Lahaska checking out their amazing display
of Christmas lights. All trees mind you, and done so
well, with different color combinations that it made
me stop and gasp with wonder.
Magical..
Then we drove down into quaint New Hope, stepped into
a few visually appealing stores, and journeying among
the this and that, met several super interesting shop
owners.
In the process of talking to them, we learned more about
each other.
Cool.
Oh, and kissing?
It does come back to ya..

OK

This afternoon I'm skipping practice so I can go out on
a date.
And I'm feeling a bit guilty about it.
But, I'm going anyway.
Seems I have knowingly walked in to the front door of a one
on one relationship.
There were two weeks between our first and second date, this
afternoon will make the third, so that's not running/galloping,
into it right?
Dating in midlife is similar to thirty years ago, except I have
thirty years of living and memories that come with me.
Some things are the same though.
What should I wear?
These jeans or those khakis?
Long sleeves or short?
My hair?
Gel, no gel?
These earrings or those?
God!
Have I forgotten how to kiss?
What if he wants more than I'm ready to give?

Holiday

Today is the first day of six, count them, six days,
that I have off in a row.
And I woke up tired and cranky..
What's up with that?
Of course I went to bed late, after a hard practice
and eating chocolate covered pretzels and cinnamon
crumb cake to refuel.
Then, at an hour no one in their right mind would call
morning, the rescue dog started barking to go out, or
eat, or to inform me he had an itchy butt.
That happened at 4am "and" 5am on the dot.
Does he wear a watch?
Mr. Tubbs, yeah, that's really his name, does this almost
every weekday morning, but this time I seriously considered
killing him when I got downstairs.
Not a fantastic thought during the Christmas season.
But a dead dog "is" a quiet dog...

Practice

Funny how much I miss it when we don't have one for a few days.
With the holidays here there is a slow down in our schedule.
Between the rink being busy with birthday parties and this or
that, it makes for a little natural "off season" in the on going
season that is inline speed skating.
Once the New Year arrives and all the calorie laden holiday food
has been consumed,it will be time to get back on track so to speak.
2008 will be a year of big changes.
With all the events going on in my sons life next June & July, like
High School graduation, turning eighteen, and then going into the
Air Force, I have had to put Nationals off till 2009.
In doing so I need to re-formulate my goals.
And I'm not sure what to do there.
But I don't do well long term without a goal in site.
It's too hard to keep focused without one.
Could be I don't have the clearest vision on how I'm skating, but
except for my starts, I think I've come a long way in 2007 and know
I can do better.
And as always, I owe my continuing development to my coach and team.
That, and getting to practice 3-4 nights a week and lacing my boots
up.

As The World Turns

After a period of stillness, so long standing that I used
it as a backdrop to paint the picture of my days, when desire
wasn't a word I used anymore, even to think with, when my life
had a structure that was solid and safe, along comes a southerly
breeze..

There had been portents.
Times when I thought I smelled rain in the air.
That afternoon a single cloud in the north set off alarms.
And my heart jumped in my chest.
Trying to catch those first precious drops on my tongue, I
felt as giddy as a schoolgirl.
Like drinking the small amount of wine parceled out at Holy
Communion as a child, and having it go to my head in a single
heart beat.

That cloud passed me by.
Keeping it's fullness for some other field, in some other
valley.

Ah well.
Nature has it's way with us.
I had celebrated too soon.
My mistake.

This new weather system, building up in the south, I'm keeping
my eye on.
To early to tell what impact it might have on my fallow fields,
but my body says there is rain in the air..

Skating

It still challenges me, and brings me pleasure.
I can't make it to Nationals in 2008, still,I'm
working on the goals I put together after the
excitement of Omaha this past July.
Keeping my head low and forward is one of them.
and it's essential.
Now that I'm going a little faster, if I don't
stay well over my feet,I'm screwed.
There seems to be a sweet spot for me.
When I hit it, skating is a rush.
I believe I can go faster.
How much?
Don't know.

Saturday I took a dive over a skater who went down
right in front of me. And though I moved in to the
left to miss his sprawled body, my right foot caught
his back hard, (not good for him),I hit the floor
with all my weight on my right knee and hyper extended
my left at an awkward angle.
For a second I watched as my left foot twisted out
towards the inside of the track and my knee to the
outside, and felt/heard it "pop".
Then I was my side on the floor in what felt like
the fetal position.
Now I've hit the floor hard enough in the last four
years to see blue lights dancing around my head and
I've been knocked silly more times than I can count.
But I always get up ASAP.
It's nothing special, it's my nature.
This time, I could not get up.
My knees hurt that bad.
Though not as bad as the time I got bucked off a young
horse I was training and landed on both knees in a pile
of rocks.
That time I had to choke back vomit.
Vomit that threatened to make an exit due to the extreme
pain I was in.
Up to that point in life I hadn't known you could hurt so
bad that you toss lunch.
(I hadn't gone through labor yet..)
Saturday caught me by surprise.
I was slower getting up than usual and worried.
The pop had been there, no doubt about it, and that part
of my knee hurt like a mother.
Yet after icing it for a bit, I got back on the floor,
skated decently and three days later, though it's sore, and
I wouldn't want to be kicked in it, it's totally usable.
OK.
Cool.

Evolution, on so many levels..

Dating

Honest.
It was unintentional.
Like going into the grocery store for one particular
item and walking out with something else.
With a newly purchased motorcycle sitting out in my
garage, I was looking for someone, or someones, to ride
with.

Cyber sites for meeting people, seemed like a good way
to get that ball rolling.
It's very 21st century.

So after spending hours sifting through what felt like
thousands of profiles and pictures, on three different
sites, answering countless "I want to get to know you"
emails, making a handful of phone calls and having two
actual face to face meetings, I find myself interested
in one person enough, and he in me, to start seeing each
other on a regular basis.
Born exactly two weeks and five years apart, we seem
to share a basic nature.
Of course it's too early to tell where this will go or
for how long, but it's very pleasant to be comfortable
together.

And he isn't my type.
Or what I thought my type was.

Now when your over forty, the life you bring to the table
is a full one.
And often messy.
Unlike teenagers who are practically clean slates when
they begin dating, adults have years of life experience
that can turn into complex stories, and connections.
Kids and ex-wives fit in here.
So if we move beyond a few dates, cross the line and start
truly relating, it won't be a single man, but a whole clan,
that I'll be getting involved with.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it..

The Library

The online sites where men go to meet women and vis versa,
are like big libraries of people.
Lined up neatly, row upon row, according to age and zip code,
not subject matter, faces look out at the browser, me, much
like the covers of books.
And like the cover of a book, you often can't tell how good
the story inside is, till you pull it off the shelf, sign it
out, and start at page one.
Just like books, it's very easy to judge humans, and perhaps
be mistaken, about their contents, by what they look like on
the outside..
Yet what else can you do.
You can't take every book out of the library and you can't
date every guy.
Not unless you have an extraordinary amount of free time on
your hands..

ShiftingBoundries

More questions..
Not answers.
What was settled, now feels un-settled.

So many stories..

I am a stranger in a very strange land.
Opening the gate let others in, not just
the horse out..

What's the saying about the barn door?

Inbox

The one handling my email account is full these days.
I can't keep up with the influx of "winks", "kisses",
and short intro posts from all the guys out there in
cyber dating land that have a lot of time on their hands.
It's not that I'm a "looker", though my Nationals 2007
picture is a hit, it's just that there are thousands of
men, in every state of the union, who are looking for
Ms. Right.
And in countries abroad too.
Anyone for a guy in Saudi Arabia?
Some of the men seem like they'd be down right happy with
Ms. Wrong too.
As long as she was up right and breathing..
As usual, I am behind the times.
Dating online?
I'm not sure it's going to work for me.
With no shared background and just a few typed words and
a fuzzy picture, what can you really know about anybody?
The few days I've been "out there" have been fun, in a
weird way, and it's opened my eyes to a phenomenon I had
no idea was so huge.

"Friends"- Online

Well, I've joined the ranks of adults that sign up
with an online service as a way to meet people.
Guy "people" in my case.
Right now I feel a bit like a fallen woman..
I'll get over it.
My son took some pictures of me on the Ninja to post
on my site of choice, and I'll admit I look good,
with a helmet on my head..
LOL!
Yeah, I'm looking for guys to ride with.
Why not girls you ask?
Cause I'm a girl.
Anyway, I've had fun looking over a ton of profiles.
Some of the guys are very scary looking BIKER guys.
There are many "not scary" guys too, and I was pleased
to see that many are interested in women my age.
And that not all of them are ancient..
So far I'm corresponding with two guys in the service.
One retired and one in Irag.
Interesting..

Licking Boogers

After checking off a few things I had on the
weekend "to do" list, which included putting
plastic up on two of our older/leaky windows,
I opened a closet and started putting on the
layers I thought necessary for an hour or so
on the Ninja.
Two things to note.
It's been twice now that I've had enough money
to replace those windows.
Being me, I've chosen instead, to buy a "ride"
of one sort or the other.
One a Litespeed bicycle, and other a gently used
2003 Ninja 250 motorcycle.
Guess I'm really not interested in new windows
am I?
Can't ride a window after all, and that plastic
does an amazing job of keeping the cold out!
Besides, I'm getting used to the white trash look..
lol

Bundled up, gassed up, and with the petcock in
the proper position this time, my yellow pony
started on cue and I took off to put a few miles
on my tires.
Wasn't too bad on the back roads, and as long as
I kept her at 35-40mph, I didn't feel very cold.
Crank it up to 50-55 on the state roads and it
was another story.
There were a few other hardy souls out there on
two wheels. The kind you pedal and ones with a
right hand throttle.
The low wave bikers often share when they pass
another motorcycle, seemed to me, to take on added
significance.
Not quite hard core, with temps in the 40's, but
getting there.
Under my helmet my eyes teared occasionally and
my cheek pads caught the single drops one at a
time.
After :45 minutes my nose started to run..
Tears are one thing, my nose running is a another.
With heavy winter gauntlet style gloves on,
getting my visor up wasn't a problem, but wiping
my nose with a breath guard on was.
Snorting back isn't pretty, but neither are boogers
in your helmet.
So, when I couldn't snort fast enough, and a trail
of nasal goo descended hell bent for my chin, I
stopped the southerly flow with my tongue.
Ummn, ummn good?
Nah!
But not bad either..
Brought back childhood memories of playing outside
in the snow with my friends, talk about about running
noses!
Good times then, good times now..

Gym Night

Only two souls in Bob's Basement Gym last night.

This is what I did and in the order I did it.

Squats: (no weight) 10x5
Lunges: 10 ea.leg x3
DB Bench Press: 15lbx10x3
Lunges: 10 ea. legx1
Arnolds: 10x10x4
Iso Curls: 15x6x3
DB Good mornings: 20x10x2
Slideboard: 4x:30sec x4
DB Good mornings: 20x10x1
Slideboard: 4x:30sec x4
5 min. x1

Didn't take me long to figure out that it was the lunges that did
my legs in last week. Tuesday and Friday had brought us back to the
basement gym for the first time in months.
Funny that such a simple small movement could put such a hurting on
me.

Bed Head

Was that a hurricane that went through my room last night while
I was sleeping?
Or did the endless discordant dreams I had play havoc with the
outside of my head the way they had with it's inside?
Don't ever recall having such a slurry of images pass through
my minds eye before...
Weird, ten fold.
Last nights dream fest was the grand finale of a weekend full of
catching up on sleep in my effort to fight off some crud that's
going around.
Waking up with a sore throat this morning, I think "sick" is
winning out.

My quads still sore from workouts at my coaches gym Tuesday and
Friday, I considered skipping practice Saturday, but didn't.
I'd missed Thursday's because I wasn't feeling well and was loath
to miss another one.
Was glad I went.

For my skating evolution continues.

Here and there, over the past few weeks, for brief moments, I've
been crossing deeper with my left foot.
I was very aware the first time it happened, as it took me by
surprise.
It was just there.
And then it wasn't.
During our 100 laps Saturday, it showed up again as my coach gave
me his example to follow when he was in front of me in line.
Cross....hold....cross....hold...cross...hold...
I wasn't perfect.. yet it's in there, and I know it.
Cool....

Delayed Reaction

Gym night at my coaches house Tuesday and
it was fun seeing everyone and getting back
on track doing some light weight work.
Wasn't sore yesterday but can feel my upper
abs this morning. Those babies haven't been
tender in a Gods age.
"What hurts needs work" wrote some wise sage,
and I guess I need to pay attention to those
parts of my body I haven't been using.

Another area in my life is a bit tender too.
Like the weather, things change.
We can't control the one, or much of anything
else really.
While it was bright and sunny last week, and I
loved every minute of it, I woke to the sound
of thunder today and rain falling, outside and
in...
I've never been a believer in dodging raindrops,
so I don't carry an umbrella.
When it rains I get wet.

So wet it is.

Trees

The ones with deep roots don't often get blown over in
storms.
Or die in times of drought.
When children climb, or swing draped over an old tire,
when lovers kiss, under their canopy of light and shadow,
trees smile.
When bugs invade or wild animals take to chewing on their
branches, they get over the damage and put forth new green
shoots.
Standing alone or in groves, trees with deep roots do more
than survive, they thrive.

I am a tree whose roots run deep..

Second Skin

You get to be my age and you realize that there isn't
much you haven't seen, heard or read about in one form
or the other.
There just isn't much going on that isn't a version of
something I haven't already experienced personally, or
vicariously, through friends and family.
So when I see something completely new, something I have
never seen before from any angle, it can be stunning in
it's freshness.
First in it's very revelation, and second that it even
happened.

A while ago I wrote a post about what it felt like to me,
a mother of a seventeen year old son, to be mistaken for a
cute "guy" on a motorcycle by three High School aged girls.
An innocent misconception on their part, it was an alien
incident for me.
For until recently, I had no idea what it's like to be male,
even for a second, in any situation.
Totally inhabiting my female gender, I know no other way of
relating, or being related to, than that of a female.
So I've been surprised to have humans of my gender, play off
the sight of me on a motorcycle as if I were what they thought
and perceived me to be, a man.
Is this what actors feel like when they dress in period
costumes and play a character?

Well, it happened again.
As soon as I got home yesterday after our Beginner Speed
Clinic, I changed into my cold weather gear, opened the
garage door and let my yellow pony out.
My goal was to try to catch up with some Ninja riders that
were getting together for a ride a bit south of me.
Never did find them, but I got 50 miles of road under my
tires.
Nice :)
Coming home, less than half mile from my house, I get the
red light in the center of town and am first in line in the
right lane.
Next to me, in the left turn lane, is a mini van. Out of the
corner of my left eye, I can see that there is some sort of
writing on the windows, like " Go Girls SV Soccer Team!!!",
so I turn my head to read what it says and doing so notice
the young girl in the back seat. I guess she might have been
8-10 yr.s old.
And I do what I do when I come across kids strapped into carts
at the grocery store who are looking around in boredom while
their parent shops, I wave.
Her facial expression is priceless.
Lightening quick, it goes from wide eyed surprise and an "O"
mouth expression, to a look of blushing disbelief, and a bright
smile.
A guy on a yellow sport bike has turned "his" head and waved
at her.
Oh my....I've done in again..and turn my head to face forward.
I don't feel like a liar, or a pervert, those girls don't know
I'm a Mom underneath the bike gear, but it does feel like I'm
gender bending or playing a role I'm not meaning to.

Maybe I should have bought a pink jacket instead of the yellow
one to match my bike...

Connecting

Another cell phone charge used up, and squeezed bone dry.
As the "beep-beep" continued running over his voice,it let
me know that at any moment our ongoing connection would
slip out into no man or woman's land, and hence non-existence.
So I trotted from one room to the next trying to locate the
actual land line phone that I hadn't used for ages.
That mystery was solved by making a quick tour of my sons
bedroom and I returned to mine and pulled my dresser out
from the wall and plugged into a dusty jack.

Once we start talking, we obviously don't want to stop.
There is back story and history, and there is today and
the day before.
There are hard things to share and easy.
It's outright spooky how his life has run on tracks so
similar to mine, yet so different, that I have come to
wonder if we were twins separated at birth and just raised
in differing social and family environs.
I read once that the great value of relationships, of
deeply relating with another soul, heart to heart,is the
self discovery that goes hand in hand with opening the
door to your secret places and letting the light in.

Love recognizes who you are.
The very bones of you.
And smiles at the sight.

Tomato Juice

Plain tomato juice is not one of those food items that I keep
in the pantry.
I like V8 Juice though,and actually have some in the fridge.
Well, I did have some in the fridge.
Still in recovery mode from getting up so early Sunday for our
League Meet, I went up to bed early Monday evening and asked my
son to take the dogs out before he went to bed.
"Sure Mom!"
Slept like a rock until I woke up with the odor of skunk
in my nostrils.
Since there's a fairly large wooded area with a creek at the
bottom of our street, we often get deer and other critters
in our yard.
And being that our house is pretty old and way less than air
tight, it's not unusual to get a whiff of skunk several times
a month.
So I didn't think anything of it.
The first time, or the second time I woke up.
"Man, that's one strong smelling skunk!" I thought, right before
I fell back into a deep sleep.
Then it was time to get up. I felt refreshed, the big dog wasn't
whining as usual to go out and I went downstairs to start my
morning routine.
Walking towards the kitchen I noticed it was nippy, and thought
I'd have to turn the heat on.
That's when I realized that the big dog hadn't whined to go out,
because he wasn't in the mudroom.
In fact he wasn't in the house.
Nor was our Jack Russell.
The back door stood ajar...with muddy foot prints all over what
had been clean dog bedding..
Oh shit!
It's raining, it's 5am in the morning, and my son hadn't shut the
back door tight last night after taking the dogs out.
How many hours ago?
Multiple.
Shit!
"Here doggie, doggie", isn't going to wash.
These dogs are always on a tie when they go outside, and now that
they have tasted freedom?
I'm screwed...
But I go out anyway.
Nothing.
So, I do what every woman who has a man in the house would do, I
wake him up and have him go out and look for the escapees.
In an hour he had the Jack back and I took both the V8 Juice the
dog up to the tub.
Poor thing was freezing and still had bits of her prey,(poor skunk)
wedged in her teeth.
PHEW!
Did she ever stink!
V8 juice straight out of the fridge didn't make her life any easier
at that point, but I had to do what I had to do.
Son calls me on the cell.
"Mom. I found Tubbs. But he is too tired to walk. Can you come pick
us up in the car?"
They are 1 block away.
"Has he been sprayed?"
"I think so"
No way is that dog going in my car for a mere block.
"Drag his butt back if you have to"

That's the short of it.
My house smelled so thickly of skunk Tuesday, that I thought we were
going to have to move.
I boiled Apple Cider vinegar in an effort to break the straggle hold
and my son thought we were going to die from the toxic cloud..
Sigh...

League Meet #1 Part One

When the alarm went off at 3am Sunday morning,
(can you call that hour "morning"?), it wasn't
as difficult to get out of bed as I thought it
would be.
I'd changed from practice wheels to race wheels
the night before,and everything was packed up
waiting by the front door.
Coffee?
Check.
Bathroom?
Check.
Dogs out?
Check.
Oatmeal ready to eat?
Check?
Uniform on?
Check.
Heading out the door my cell phone rang.
Who'd be calling me at four in the morning??
He would.

:)

So, I drove 40 minutes south in the dark,
passing numerous deer in and on the side of
the road, talked to "him", and ate my oatmeal
at the same time.
Multitasking the miles away.
Aren't I just something or what?
LOL

Second in line at Frenchtown's door at 4:45, we
talked till the warm folks inside, let all the
frozen people outside, in too.
(still think we are all nuts to race this early...)

Anyway, I wasn't nervous like I have been in the
past.
Well, not until it was time for me to check in for
my first race, a 700m.
Instead of this huge battle between, "don't race",
"do race", now I recognize that uncomfortable
feeling as the adrenaline rush that goes hand in
hand with stepping up to the line.
After competing for 3 seasons, there are enough
races under my wheels that, after the start is
out of the way, I'm pretty confident on the floor
itself.
Might not be the fastest 51 year old, but I am
one of the few 51 year olds, of the female variety,
that race on inlines. So I no longer beat myself
up like I used to for not being very fast.
Perhaps because the truth is, I get faster every
year.
Not in leaps and bounds but inch by inch.

Now it's a common feeling among racers at the first
League Meet, to be less than enthusiastic.
I think it's because there is never any down time
when your an inline speed skater.
If your not training or racing indoor, your training
and racing outdoors.
And that endless season, year in, year out, wears on
ya.
Despite this fact, your wondering how your going to
stack up to the other skaters in your division, that
you haven't raced against indoors since Nationals.
And you won't have that answer until you get out on
the floor and the gun goes off.
Once that first race is a done deal, I think we all
breath a sigh of relief, because it's never as bad as
we imagine it "might" be.

To be continued..

Racing

Been a few posts since I commented on anything
having to do with skating, which plays such
a large role in my life.

Of late, I've been slightly more occupied
with my romantic nature..

But, there is a time and place for everything.

Tomorrow is our 1st League Meet of the 2007-
2008 season and though I'm not on fire for it,
I will attend, and likely race.
Getting put of my warm bed at 3am, on a Sunday
doesn't turn me on.
Yet, if I don't, I won't get a place to sit of
my choosing floor side.
No, I'll have to squeeze in between all the
other still sleepy people who are squeezing in
between all the other sleepy people.
Rinks are notorious for their lack of seating.
So general space to move around is at a premium
when it comes time to host a league meet or an
Invitational.
Stepping over or on people who are trying to catch
a few zzz's, or trying to tie their boots up goes
hand in hand with the race scene.

Last night my race wheels came out of storage.
Going to feel freaky being in them again.
Probably fall right on my ass.

Song Of My Heart

It was so strange yesterday to have the radio on
in my office,just like all the other days of the
week, and be more attuned to certain lyrics.
Those of love songs.

Get back Jack!

You mean to tell me, that after one long intense
phone conversation, and one night of waking up in
the wee hours and having "his" name be my first
thought, that I'm, I'm..

I'm what?

So, he left a message on my cell phone last night,
and I listened to it,like one would when you notice
you have voice mail, and then listened to it two
more times in five minutes just to hear the depth of
his voice, that slight tremble of feeling he used to
let me know what he was thinking, you think that
means something?

Nah.

Really.

It doesn't mean a thing..

My Cell Phone

Is just like anybody else's.
A very convenient tool.
My son calls me on it when he gets home from school,
and I often talk to friends during my drive into work
in the morning.
But I'm not on it all the time.
That's because,I'm on the phone at work all the time.
It's part and parcel of my job. So when my work day ends,
I usually don't want to be on the phone for very long.
Not so last night.
I was on my cell phone so long my battery died.
See, "He" and I exchanged numbers yesterday..

Normally it takes 50 minutes to drive home.
Yesterday it took 2 hours.
Not that traffic was bad, oh no, the roads were fine,
traffic was fine.
No, it took 2 hours because as I came closer to town and
home, I realized I was going to have to end the call once
I pulled into my driveway.
Instead, I pulled over next to the High School athletic
fields and kept listening.
Then, a little closer to home, pulled into the Community
Park, and kept talking.
Later I found myself in a parking lot over at Stabler.
Listening and talking.
Sweet Jesus, what was going on?

What can I say..
"He" makes me laugh.

And I make him snort laugh.

Hell, it must be love..

Right?

LOL!

And, it sure felt funny thinking about my son finding
out that Mom is interested in somebody, and that the
somebody is interested back.

Well, eventually it started getting dark.
And it really was time to go home and face the inevitable.
Backing into the driveway, phone to ear, I started to
the house and went out back to the garage instead.
Chicken!
Opening the over head door, still on the phone,I looked
at the Ninja and the conversation turned to motorcycles.
"He" used to ride and still has the "M" on his license..

Finally, I knew I had to face the music.
I walked up to the back door, and into my own house. The
one I was worried about entering, with a phone glued to
my head.
My son and I exchanged hellos, and I headed up stairs, to
my room, to my bed, which I laid across like a teenager..
and talked to "Him" till my phone died..
Sigh...

Back downstairs.
Ever perceptive, my son asked, "Who was that?"

How awkward..
.....

Ahhhh...
Ahhhh...

"Would it be OK with you, if I, well, was "interested"
in somebody"?

:) Bright smile

"Sure Mom. I know how that stuff is"
(He does?)
"It's not like I'm a kid"

Well.
That wasn't so bad, but it sure felt weird..asking my son
if it was OK for me to talk on the phone...and so on..

Tough Stuff

Hate to think what my right shoulder is going to
feel like in another 15-20 years, but I guess I'll
cross that bridge when I get to it.
All those farm chores..
Carrying buckets of water and endless hay bales,
grooming horse after horse after horse, getting
bucked off so many times I stopped counting.
Then there was that horrible winter in ninety
something when it rained and froze one day on top
of the other.
By myself then, I broke ice all day long.
Trying to get the encapsulated barn doors open,
and hours later, when I finally succeeded, I kept
chopping, in an effort to make channels in the
layers of ice so the rain would go around the barn
and stop flooding the stalls and the sheep shed.
That winter really took a toll on my right shoulder.
Couldn't sleep on it for close to a year, which was
a pain because I'd always been a right "side" sleeper.
Couldn't lift it over my head either.
There is only so much one shoulder can take and I
guess I've abused mine.
Last year, (was it last year?) I separated it in a
corner fall, skating. That made driving hard for a
few weeks.
Last night I fell, bunched in line during a passing
drill. It's been awhile since I've gone down, and I
whacked it a good one again.
Felt like Thor had taken his hammer to it, shoulder
to elbow.
It rang my bell and reverberated for hours.
Made a icky grinding noise when I moved it, and hurt
to use when I drove home.
Must be made out of really tough stuff 'cause it
feels much better this morning.

First League Meet of the season is this Sunday and
I'm uninspired to race, though I do plan on going to
watch.
What happened to the racer woman of a few months ago?
I don't know.

One Off

The tile and registration for the Ninja came in the
mail Saturday.
Woo! Hoo!
My name right there in print = "motorcycle owner".
Sweet!
What's that?
Something looks odd..why it's my first name..the DMV
has added a letter..
Now, I like "L" as much as the next person, but I'd
prefer not to have it slipped in among the few letters
that normally shape my label.
Sigh..
It's going to have to go back.

Sixty

That's how warm it was in the house when I
got up this morning.
Burrr!
Leaving my toasty bed wasn't as hard as I
thought it would be, and for the first time
in many, many months I felt ready to get up
when the alarm went off at 5:10am.
Must have something to do with the full week
end I had off from work :)
Outside temp. shows 30, and the weather guy
just warned of a frost advisory covering our
area.
Thinking of frosty..
Rode thirty miles on the Ninja yesterday.
(was rained out Saturday).
50 degrees at 50mph felt cold and perhaps I
am more of a fair weather rider than I thought.
Going to have to work out my layering.
Looks like I might meet some other Ninja 250
riders in the next weekend or two. No one is
very local, but these guys don't think anything
of putting in several 100 miles a day to go for
a ride.

As Spock Once Said..

"Interesting"..
I learned yesterday that my heart still goes pitter patter
when romance comes knocking.
Hold the train!
Geez Louise!
Where would I find the time and space to include someone
in my life who doesn't "do" anything I do?
Beats me..

Dark & Wet

Replacing the blades on my windshield wipers was
a must do this week. It had been so long since I'd
had to use them for real,(we've had a dry few months)
that I hadn't realized what sad shape they were in.
The new ones are getting a work out and go far in
helping me see where I am going at 7am as I drive
my son to school and then take myself to work.
This is not my favorite time of year.
Summer, how I will miss you..
At first the sound of the rain running though the
gutters by the back door and the smell of wet dog
surprised my senses.
Wet muddy paws? What's that?
Even the cats want in.
Looks like I'll be lucky to get the Ninja out of
the garage and on the road before Sunday, if that.
Daylight savings ends the first Sunday of November,
(God! Christmas is right around the corner :O ) and
on cue my body started prepping for the hibernation
the never comes weeks ago. The primal me has been
kicking in, and I find myself reaching for anything
and everything to eat, 24/7.
Might serve me well if I still lived in a cave, but
I'm a bit behind the times with that one.
Next time ice cream is on sale, I will push my cart
past the frozen desert aisle!
I swear I will..

EBay

Never thought too much about Ebay until I bought the Ninja.
Now for a 2002, my bike is in really good condition. But, a
loose tie down caused her to fall in the back of the truck
taking her to the shop she was going to be sold through, and
that incident caused a 2x3' hole to be created in her upper
fairing. That, and a portion of the seat cover was scratched
and rubbed through to the foam.
It also didn't come with the owners manual, or the small model
specific tool kit most bikes come with, that fits conveniently
under the seat.
So far I've located and "won" a replacement seat and owners
manual, and will know today if I've won the tool kit I need.
I'm loving Ebay!
This reminds me of the time in my life I was focused around
the equine form of transportation.
There was always a piece of equipment I needed, or wanted,
and I spent much time discussing with other equine minded
friends the advantages or disadvantages of this or that, and
spent countless hours scouring tack shops around the county.
Twenty plus years of that and I had one of just about every-
thing related to riding or caring for a horse. In any weather
condition.
Looks like I'm heading down the same road with my little
yellow gas powered pony...
So, if your looking for something, anything, normal stuff
or oddball, it's probably being sold on Ebay.

PS.
Our coach often comes up with new drills to better his
aspiring skaters. His newest one, has us right pushing
the ends, squatting low, left elbow on left knee, with
chin in hand.
It's a killer!
My legs have been cursing like drunken sailors...

3 Months

It occurred to me yesterday while I was mulling
over my apparent lack of interest in racing our
upcoming League Meets, that this time 3 months
ago I was totally engaged, living and breathing
my first Indoor Nationals.
The pinnacle of my chosen sport.
No freaking joke, it feels like the whirl wind
of excitement and drama, that for me was Nationals
2007, took place years ago..

There But For The Grace...

No indoor practice for me last night.
The house behind mine and two to the left
caught fire. When my son had mentioned he
smelled wood burning I didn't think too
much of it.
The neighbor directly behind us often has
little camp fires in his back yard year
round..
It was an old building that had long ago
been converted into 4-5 apartments and flames
could be seen through the west side windows.
Our little street filled with people coming
from God knows where, I didn't recognize
any of them, to see what was going on.
As fire trucks laced the night with sirens
we watched helpless, hoping everyone had
gotten out in time.
Hours later, firemen where still working on
flareups, or more accurately, smoke ups.
Finally I had to go to bed with the lights
from the emergency vehicles illuminating my
bedroom walls.
This morning all the trucks are gone and the
building stands dark and deeply wounded.
Windows broken, interior black, I wonder where
the occupants slept last night..

Time Tells

It tells on you.
Not eating right?
Give it time and the scale will lay it out
for you in numbers.
Not getting enough sleep?
Crankiness, yawning at work, lack of interest
in things that usually grab your attention,
and falling asleep on the drive home from work
are sure signs that you and your pillow are not
spending enough quality time together.
Legs being sore for days after indoor practice
are sure signs I haven't been spending much time
on my skates.
In spite of that fact, and the time I've robbed
from practice and given to my little yellow Ninja,
I haven't completely gone to hell in a hand basket.
Last night we did a fun circle drill, a duck,
duck, goose type thing on wheels. With a decent
sized circle I was able to participate for real
and not just go through the motions.
Ok.
It's true..
Before I got dizzy I "let" Ray, who was chasing,
catch me...
Better to be safe, than sorry..
We did relays too, for the first time since
Nationals, and some of us were rusty with our
timing.
:(
No worries, we will all get back into the swing
of it soon enough.
And I did throw in one decent pass :)
Go me!
Felt comfortable on the floor and even though
my fastest still leaves some thing to be desired,
it doesn't feel bad anymore.
I'm no longer loser slow.

Not Quite

Didn't make my goal of 90 miles on the Ninja
yesterday, but only missed it by a few 10ths.
I'd wanted to get as much pleasure into Sunday
as I could since it was my only day off.
Working Saturday sinks... but with no relief
in sight, (no one in the parts dept. wants to
work Saturdays either), I have to accept a six
day work week for the time being.
58 degrees doesn't sound very cold does it?
In fact, come February that temp. will feel
like a heat wave, but on a motorcycle it's a
tad nippy when the speedo reads 50mph and your
under dressed.
Not only I'm I acquiring experience with each
mile I ride, I'm learning what to wear to keep
from freezing to death!
And, now I know, why smart people wait for the
day to warm up before heading down the road.
And why you see more motorcycles on a autumn
afternoon compared to an autumn morning.
Live and learn.

Working six days, and having a motorcycle, has
taken a bite out of my time, and that in turn
has taken a toll on speed skating.
You could say my thoughts have been else where.
So has my body.
This time of year I usually question why and what
I am doing, and what my goals are.
The days are get shorter because it gets dark
earlier, and I find myself fighting the urge to
hibernate along with the bears..

Rebel With A Cause

And it's not me, it's my son.
When I'm out shopping in town, I'm often asked by
young cashiers if I have a son in High School. They
know him and recognize my face through his, which
they know much better.
My son is a thinker, has a naturally inquiring
mind and is constantly bringing his teachers up
short with questions.
He wants to know why, or why not.
Who, what, where and when aren't questions, they are
part and parcel of the blood that flows through his
veins.
He and I are enough alike that not much surprises me
about what he is interested in, but I was taken a back
recently when he chose not to have his picture taken
for his senior year book.
In fact, as a proud parent, I was disappointed.
You see, I don't have a picture in my senior year book
either. Because I left school in 11th grade and didn't
graduate High School.
And, well, I was looking forward to his being among
the graduating class of 2008.
Proof, that my son made it where I hadn't..
Well, he surprised me last night,with news he felt pretty
good about.
His classmates voted him "Most likely to change the world".
For that he is willing to be in his senior yearbook.
I can only hope he changes the world for the better...

Illusion

Had to laugh!
Riding home on the Ninja Monday, I passed a group
of High School aged girls walking down the opposite
side of a narrow back street in Frenchtown.
Nothing very exciting about that.
The speed limit was 15mph and perhaps I was doing 20.
As I got closer I couldn't help but notice that they
were checking me out.
Huh?
I've never seen that look in a girls eyes aimed in
my direction before !
Poor things..they only saw the bike, the mirrored
helmet, and the black jacket.
When I realized that they were mistaking me for some
hot guy, I turned my head in their direction, which
only intensified their preening. I laughed to myself
and thought of flipping open my visor and waving.
Instead, I let the illusion stand and enjoyed the smile
it put on my face.
I could be their mother, but that's not what they saw.
Why ruin it...

Night Ride

It wasn't intentional. After I put the grocery's away I
told my son I was going to take the Ninja out and headed
for the garage where my little pony is stabled.
The night previous,I'd finally found a helmet that fit,
and even if the graphics were not something I would have
chosen, they were something I could live with.
Scorpions would not have been my 1st, 2nd or even 3rd
choice of helmet decor..
Starting the bike is easy, if I remember to turn the key
to the ON position and not just stick it in the ignition,
which I have been doing. :O
My Kawasaki is cold blooded, and like people who need time
to get going in the morning, she needs time to get her
juices flowing too.
Once warm, I'm finding her ready, willing, and able.
Maneuvering out to the road, from where the garage sits
behind my house, I ride the narrow line of concrete pavers
that makes up my sidewalk.
If I'm not careful, running into the side of my house
is a distinct possibility..
For the first 20 minutes I traveled back roads around
Lehigh's Goodman Athletic Fields, ones I've grown
comfortable on during my past handful of rides.
Then I made my way over to Main Street, out into traffic
and pointed my Ninja in the direction of the rink.
This was to be a practice run, but with out my skates.
Obeying the posted speed limit all went smoothly.
Except for the guys in the huge truck who laid on their
horn when passing on my right as I was making a left
turn.
Did I do something wrong?
Or were they just being idiots?
I'll never know for sure.
What I do know, is what is a small thing car to car, takes
on different meaning when you are on top of a motorcycle.
Anyway, I got to the rink in one piece, without scaring
myself, used the bathroom, then turned around and headed
back home.
It was getting dark and it was a good thing I had my clear
face shield on and not my tinted one.
Headlights worked great, as good as the ones on my car, and
the high beam was even better.
It's not that I plan on doing much riding at night but with
the season changing, daylight is getting shorter. It's
good to have some time under my wheels in that condition.
Riding a motorcycle has given me a new appreciation for
sharing the road with others. Just like riding a bicycle
did.
"Walk a mile in my shoes" or ride a few mile on two wheels,
sharing the road with 4 wheeled vehicles. It will open your
eyes as a driver of a car.
You will never quite understand the complex issues between
both forms of transportation until you do.

71.8

That's not my temp, nor the temperature outside or inside
my office.
No, it's the miles I've personally put on my pony sized
motorcycle.
There's not much else I think about these days, well, I
am engaged in my son's Air Force recruitment goings on.
But it's Ninja this and Ninja that, almost all Ninja all
the time.
I've ridden three times since I got her home and I'm working
on remembering to cancel my turn signals right away and to
be smoother on the throttle.
She's sensitive and despite her diminutive size, she has
better pickup than my car..
Yee Haw!

My Yellow Pony

The Pony Express of the American west comes to mind
when I ride the Ninja 250. She's small, fit's narrowly
yet solidly between my legs, and is quick to react
to input. Ready when you are to crank up the rpm's,
I find her nimble and responsive.
With 60 miles on the trip odometer, we are only just
beginning to get to know each other, but I expect our
relationship to be a strong one.
Weight wise I couldn't have made a better choice.
Slightly over 300lbs dry, I can pick her up myself if
I drop her, which I've already done,much to my chagrin.
That incident took place in a section of rutted gravel
driveway, while I had my feet on the ground and was
standing still.
Of all things!
And before I'd ever even gotten her out on the road
no less :O
Looking back, I realize that I should have taken greater
care with where I stopped. Flat is better than gravel
craters for both you and your bike.
Take my word on that..
Anyway, with helmet, leather jacket and gloves on, with
the bike warmed up and with my friends at my back, I
drove off the stony driveway at "J&L Cycle" and made a
left onto the smooth blacktop of Rt.12.
Less than two miles ahead was the dreaded metal grated
bridge I had to take to cross from N.J. into PA.
Why did it have to be so freaking long?
Bob had a plan if I wussed out at any point and I was
thankful for his practical, down to earth attitude.
He never makes you feel bad for being afraid.
With the knowledge that help was there if I needed it,
I made the dog leg through Frenchtown and headed for
the Delaware River.
The first half really wasn't bad. It was only at the
half way point that the Ninja seemed to wander more
and it was an unnerving sensation.
Ever felt sick in your heart?
That's how that second portion made mine feel..
Careful to keep my right hand and foot off the brakes
till both tires where on solid pavement again, I rode
down the short exit ramp and came to a smooth stop.
On the whole, it hadn't been as big of a deal as I'd
thought it would be. And it's one I need to get used
to. The only way into New Jersey is across the river,
and I want to ride my bike to work this fall.
Fact is, I want to ride it to work by weeks end...

To be continued

Road Trip

As the Beetles sang, "I get by with a little help from
my friends".
And so, it was with the help of mine that I rode my Ninja
home yesterday morning.
Bob and his daughter April drove me to "J&L Cycle", where
Joe, a scruffy looking Harley guy, with a heart of gold,
was waiting for us.
Opening the overhead door, he rolled my little yellow pony
express bike out of the dark of his shop and into the light
of day.
That's the moment I felt like I'd gone from a bike buyer,
to a bike owner.
It was mine.
Mine to ride home, mine to take responsibility for, on the
road and off.

To be continued..

Todays The Day

Around lunch time my son will be climbing into a shuttle van with
a handful of other potential recruits for the various branches
of the United States military.
He is hoping to be sworn into the delayed entry program by late
Friday afternoon.
They are all going to Philadelphia to be deposited in a Sheraton
for the night and very early Friday morning taken to MEPS, the
Military Entrance Processing Station for their initial processing.
His recruiter warned us that it's a long tough day.
If Austin passes all the various tests, including numerous medical
tests, he will meet with a job counselor and be told what jobs he
qualifies for. Hopefully it will be something he already has his
eye on.
Thankfully he scored quite well on the ASVAB test a few weeks ago.
Well enough that he is scheduled to take the challenging, Electronic
Data Processing Test while he is at MEPS.
If he scores high enough on that, well, other, more selective doors
will open for him if he wants to walk through them.
The Air Force wants him, and he whats the Air Force. I can only hope
as his mother, that if he gets in, and we have no reason to think
he won't, that he will continue to be happy.
Gee, I can't believe that around this time next year he'll be leaving
for basic training.
Drink up the time you have with your children. Because one day they
will grow up and fledge.
Leaving you with an empty nest.
....

I...

surrender.
It's no use to try to stay in bed, when I wake
up at 1:30am, or 2:30am or 3:30 am, thinking about
motorcycles.
Staying in bed, trying to go back to sleep until
the alarm goes off, doesn't work.
I've tried.
So many bikes, so many cc's, so many questions.
I shopped.
In person and on the Internet.
I stopped.
When I saw a bike for sale in someones yard.
There was a ceiling on what I could spend, and
I was pretty firm on the amount I had in mind.
It wasn't much.
Yesterday afternoon I went by to see the first
bike I'd looked at, with an appointment to see
another one later that evening. I'd visited this
one previously, once just to look, and once to
sit on it. This time after sitting on it again,
looking it over in greater detail, and hearing
it run,I made an offer. $300.- lower than the
original asking price.
When it was finally accepted, I put a deposit down.
So, by weeks end I'll be the owner of a 2002 Ninja
250.
No crotch rocket, though it looks like one, and not
a bike I'll be battling traffic with on RT. 78, but
a perfect size and weight for my build, and a great
place to start.
When I took the MSF course, it was to see if I was
interested, if I could learn, and if I would even
be comfortable on a motorcycle.
That question was answered in the affirmative, and
I had fun, along with some nervousness, during the
process of earning the "M" rating on my license.
Yet, at courses end, I knew it was only the barest
of a beginning.
There is a lot more to learn and the only place to
do it is on the road.
Hence the need for my own motorcycle.
Not sure when I'll get it home, I'm hoping Sunday
if I can get all the paper work done by then.
A few friends have offered to truck it home for me.
But I've decide I want to ride it there.
:)

Sunday

Well,I tried to pack in as much as I could on
my day off.
Slept in till 7:30, took care of the critters,
made myself some tea then got on the computer
since my son was still asleep, the only time I
have access to it.
Before long it was time to get dressed and head
off to the Haycock Bikefest being held the
Southern Lehigh Community Park in Coopersburg.
Wasn't sure what to expect from a "bikefest", but
my hope was to see a lot of motorcycles, and that
dream was fulfilled in spades.
Fifteen minutes after the gates opened I'd paid,
had my wrist band on and was leaning up against
a fence watching the bike after bike roll in and
park. First under a line of trees, and when that
area filled up, on the well maintained grass of
a baseball field.
There were hundreds of them!
A kaleidescope of every make, model, engine size,
and color, passed in front of my eyes, most shiny
and pristine, ridden by as colorful a selection of
human beings.
Male female, skinny and fat, one astride, or two up.
The were a few rough looking bikes and a few rough
looking individuals, but they were in the minority.
For 45 minutes I watched bike after bike roll in
and park. Then gave up my ring side location and
started walking up and down row after row of two
wheeled wonders..
Wow!
You name it, and it was there, to be seen in the
flesh, err..metal.
What a great way to spend a few hours. The weather
was fine, and the scenery was too.
But nothing lasts forever and it was time soon
enough to get home and have lunch before indoor
practice.

No doubt about it though,I'm in the doldrums.
Then again, as I now recall, I feel this way
every year when summer gets serious about drawing
to a close.
Indoor season is on my heels and we will be fully
engaged soon. It's already getting dark earlier
and earlier, and everything seems to be shrinking
in around me, choking off the pleasure I find in
life.
In other words I am miserable at the loss of summer..

I'll adjust eventually, I always do.
But it's a sad affair..

Whew..

There's no way I can be too old to work
six days a week, but it seems to be kicking
my butt at present.
By days end Saturday, I was drained.
Had a migraine that morning and it
had me half blind and feeling sick for
hours.
Thankfully taking 3 Aleve did the trick,
as it usually does, but the episode made
me wonder if I just have too much on my
plate.
Bottom line is, I'm not light hearted
and happy. my preferred state of being.
Instead I'm tired, not sleeping well and
the strain that causes, is showing up as
crankiness over small stuff, a sure fire
warning sign.
One I've regretted ignoring in the past
when I found myself in very similar
circumstances.
So.
What do I give up?

Cranky Pants

It hasn't been the best week.
Cause?
I've been cranky.
And tired.
Work has been extra busy, skating isn't
rocking my world at present and I've made
some decisions I now regret.
And, choosing a motorcycle, is tough.
I've been to various dealerships to sit on
bikes but I'm just not sure about the direction
I want to go in.
So many types, styles, and all out of my
price range.
Buy a 250 to learn on, buy a 500 because
you'll outgrow the 250 in three months.
Buy a 650 at least! You'll grow into it
and be sorry if you start smaller.
Everyone has an opinion.
What do I want?
Well, I know what I don't want. A heavy
bike that I'm afraid to take out of my
garage.
What I think I want, is to recapture
the joy I felt at sixteen riding my
Yamaha mini-enduro around the country
roads of Maryland.
Then, I didn't want to ride on the
interstate, or across country with
piles of friends. Then, I wanted to
zip around and see what was down this
road and the next, feeling the air flow
around my body. My bike and I working
and moving as one.
On my best days in a sailplane, that's
how it felt.
At one with the plane.
No thoughts, except what you were doing,
what was under you, and around you.
The wings were your arms, and "you" were
flying, not just a pilot at the "controls".
Skating is at it's best then.
No thinking, no worries if your doing
it right. I forget then about the boots
and wheels on my feet and just power forward.
When I get low and belt out a few fast
laps, that's when the joy seeps back in.

A Falling Off

Practice last night did not go as expected..
I was off my game.
Should have known things weren't going to
be easy for me when I had to make an effort
to keep up during our five warm up laps.
Hitting the hill loop next, well, I could
feel my body complain from the get go.
Where did the kids ahead of me get their
energy I thought?
Things got ugly quick.The only part of the
night that went fast for me.
Flailing arms, and no knee bend = poop.
Technique was no where to be seen.
Struggled to finish 5 on the hill, and I
mean struggled. When my group of three rolled
out I was toast.
My ears were freezing, I was working on a
headache and after only 2 laps of the small
track..I was history.
The rest of practice went on without me.
Sure,these things happen, but it's been quite
awhile since I've had to bail before practice
was officially over.
After packing up and getting home,I took a
bath and was in bed by nine.
Woke up in the wee hours of the morning with
a full blown, full face headache, and feeling
the way I do now I wonder if I'm coming down
with something.
Either that, or eating mostly junk for the
last week is taking a huge toll on me.

A Full Weekend

Working Saturdays isn't painful, but it sure takes
a hunk out of your weekend. I'll adapt, and the
extra income is welcome, and needed.
Late yesterday, which was Sunday, I passed the
Motorcycle Safety Foundation course I've been taking
for the past two weeks.
The hardest part of the class?
The slow speed figure 8 in a box, or two "U" turns
in a box, as the MSF likes to call it. For me it was
the most difficult skill to grasp.
Well, I'm challenged at slow speeds on my inline
skates too. LOL!
The second U turn, to the right, was awkward, to say
the least,and I'd messed it up badly in practice.
Around 6pm, when they lined us up to start our final
"evaluation", I found myself second in line.
This was the order we were to keep through out all
four portions of the test. We sat on our bikes, and
watched the classmate ahead of us go through what we
were about to go through.
This, was where everything you did counted.
As rider coach Bob Hunt said, "It's for all the
marbles".
It worked like this.
You accumulated points for each "error". The goal
being to have as few points as possible at the end
of your evaluation.
Zero was a perfect score.
The dreaded "box" was first.
Yikes!
Why couldn't I have been in the back of the line,
or even the middle?
Then I was waved forward..
Entering through 2 small orange cones, I shifted
my weight where I was supposed to, turned my head
to look where I was going, as if I was doing a
Linda Blair impersonation, turned the handlebars,
and executed both turns where I was supposed to.
It wasn't perfect, and I did go over the solid line
by a little twice, but I didn't put my foot down.
It was the best box I'd done all course :)
What a freaking relief to have that over with!!
I nailed the remaining portions of the test with
no problem.
Swerving around an obstacle, emergency stop,
90 degree turn at speed, and a 130 degree turn
at speed.
In the next 45 minutes two out of the ten of us
received perfect scores.
I was totally OK with the fact that I wasn't one
of them.
In 10 hours and perhaps 15 miles on a motorcycle,
I'd learned a lot and picked up valuable skills
that will serve me well on the road.
Next goal?
Get a bike of my own!

Changes

Not having the AC and fans running 24/7
is a welcome relief. One can only hope
that the cooler temps are here to stay
and that we will enjoy a long fall season.
Of course, I'd like to keep from having
to turn the heat on for as long as possible
too.
Having a break from cooling and heating
costs would be it's own blessing.

We've gone from only skating outside to
training indoor and outdoor, and I'm
enjoying both right now.
With after work daylight shrinking by
minutes as each day passes, our outdoor
season is winding down and the "NY Skate
Marathon/NY 100" September 29Th is the
last big event on the east coast.
Several members on my team having been
diligently training for it and I know
they will do very well.
Go Ray-Ray!
For myself, I'm thinking next year will
be the time for my own first 42k. A
distance I'd never even considered before.
I'm feeling positive about the direction
our coach is taking us in as a team, and
my development is moving forward month by
month.
I've finally learned how to push under
with my left foot and I have outdoor to
thank for that!
Last month, when I first stayed on the
back of the faster pack, a gap would open
between us on each corner.
To close it, I had to hustle, and it took
more effort to stay in then it needed to.
Observing the situation,coach Bob told
me to get lower, and cross deeper on the
corners. A mental picture of how deeply
Jeff Foster crosses when he races indoor,
popped into my mind and I tried to copy it.
I made a real effort to sink lower on each
corner and to bring my right foot further
across in front of me. I think my new found
left foot under push is the result.
Bringing it indoor had a huge benefit.
When we did our first 100 laps Tuesday night,
it was there, without any prodding on my part.
Like magic.
Keeping tight with the pack was easy.
Woo! Hoo! I thought as the lap count went up
and I wasn't having to work so hard.
I'm a "speed" skater!
LOL

MSF #2

Young and old, short and tall, male, female,
we were a mixed assortment of shapes and
abilities. Yet all of us arrived at the MSF
riding range, just across the street from the
Lehigh Valley Airport, well in advance of the
1:30pm start time.
Was anyone excited?
You bet!
A hot muggy afternoon, it looked odd to see
everyone dressed in long sleeved shirts, full
length jeans and over the ankle boots, most
black, several pairs of them obviously brand
new.
All the clothing was geared towards safety,
and a requirement to get on a MSF bike, as
were DOT approved helmets and full fingered
gloves.
Lucky me, I had a friend who loaned me a
helmet and another one who loaned me her
gloves.
I got my boots at the Thrift Store for $7.-
:)
Three quarters of the students had bikes
of their own,(one guy had been riding for
20 years), but two had been no further with
their rides than up and down their driveways
and were itching to get out on the road.
And, those who didn't already own a bike,
knew what they wanted when they got one,
all except me.
I didn't know anything, except that I liked
the simple looks of standards.
Crotch rockets are hot, but too hot for me
to start out on.
The rides we'd be using to learn on were
lined up neatly in four lines of three.
As I walked over to them with my class mates,
I realized they were not the mini bike type
I had been expecting to see.
Not giants to be sure, but they looked big
to me.
Eight Kawasaki 125 Eliminators, a single
Suzuki DR 200SE and a Yamaha Virago 250 sat
in the sun, awaiting us.
Short folks got the 125's and I picked the
sole black one.
Bob, our instructor from Friday, was joined
by Tom and after getting our clothing checked,
we started the process of learning how to
properly mount, and went over where all the
controls were.
The first surprising element was the weight
of the bike between my legs.
Sure, I mentally knew they were heavy, but
it wasn't until I was sitting on one that I
grasped what that meant, whoa!, and these
were "light" beginner bikes.
Both Bob and Tom knew their stuff and it
wasn't long before we had them started and
were all finding neutral.
After thoroughly going over what we would
be doing in the first drill, we walked while
straddling our machines, to another area
were we lined up right to left single file.
Bob then instructed us on how to rock the
bikes back and forth in first gear, using
the friction zone to inch ahead. Next we
rode forward, using our feet at a walking
pace, about 15ft, where we stopped. Then
we repeated the process again and again,
making our way across the wide expanse of
pavement.
In what seemed no time at all, we were riding
from one side of the parking lot to the other,
turning our bikes around, once again with our
feet, when we reached the end. It was a little
awkward to turn in neutral but it gave you a
good feel for moving the bike around with no
power from the engine.
Well, hours passed like magic, and we students
took several breaks to get something to drink,
while our dedicated instructors stayed out on
the course and set up different cone patterns
for the next series of drills.
And there were many of them.
Steady progress was made all afternoon. Those
that were tentative at the beginning class
noticeably moved further into a comfort zone.
Only one student dropped her bike. She'd been
unsteady from the start, yes it was a girl,
and a slightly built at that.
Coming in to line up with everyone else, I
think she just forgot to put her feet down.
No harm was done, Bob made light of it, and
we moved on to the next thing.
There was a lot of information to absorb!
And I did get confused on at least one drill.
There was so much to remember driving around
the course. In here, around that, slow there,
down that lane, slow down, speed up, stop.
That was ok. I was there to learn after all.
Some things I took to like a duck on water,
and some I didn't.
Slow tight turns and weaving in and out of
tight cones challenged me. As they do on
speed skates..
Thankfully the tight cone weave thing isn't
on the test, the tight corner is, but I'm
sure with more practice I can get that down.
By 5pm I was emergency stopping on cue,
leaning into the corners, swerving and
feeling very positive that I had a future
on a motorcycle.
There is no doubt in my mind that I can be
a competent rider, with more time in the
saddle :)
This Sunday we have 5 more hours on the bikes
and then, last but not least, our evaluation.
You pass, you get your "M" endorsement.
Unless I drop my bike, I'm certain I can do
it.

MSF

Stands for the Motorcycle Safety Foundation,
and it's through this group that I'm learning
to pilot my first real sized motorcycle.
I don't think the Yamaha Mini Enduro I had as
a 15-16 yr. old counts towards my current
training.
Besides, that experience, which was outrageously
fun, and a high lite of my youth, was so long
ago, I have forgotten the color of the bike.
Yet, I'll never forget the thrill, or sense of
freedom that little machine gave me.
Now, it's doubtful, at my age, I'll return to
riding mile after mile of undulating power line
trails, out in the middle of no where, like I
did back then.
These days, I'm thinking more of weekends and
evenings cruising the two lane blacktop that
follows the path of the Delaware river.
Our great state of Pennsylvania, which I am proud
to call home, offers this 15 hour course, free,
to all hard working tax payers. The desk portion
is held at the local community college, and being
very popular, spaces fill quickly. When I went to
sign up, the Friday/Sunday class I wanted was full.
Rats!, but I took a chance, signed up as an alternate,
and kept my fingers crossed.
Lucky me, and the one other alternate, two folks
didn't show up that first night and we got in.
Whew!
Experienced rider or not, your wanted. In return,
professional instructors, teach you how to
ride safe and have fun doing it.
Bikes and helmets are provided, if you don't
have either of your own. All you do need is a
valid M class learners permit, which you receive
when you pass the written portion of the motorcycle
licensing test at your local DMV.
Much to my chagrin, it took me two times to do so..
Talking to the people waiting with me in line the
second time, I learned it wasn't uncommon for it to
take more than once.
That first Friday night after getting all our paper
work checked out, we spent 3 hours going over half
the course manual and watched relevant sections of
a video. Then, the following Sunday afternoon, it
was off to the range, located behind State Police
barracks, for the real deal.

Tomorrow: Sitting On The Bike

A Work Day

It was a drag to have to work Saturday and
miss the last race in the Eastern Seaboard
Series, the Debbie Kohl Memorial Race held
in Trexlertown, PA.
Debbie was a huge supporter of the Special
Olympics, and this race raises money each
year for the cause so dear to her heart.
But I simply couldn't put off starting at
the parts counter any longer.
Vacation and Labor Day had delayed it as it
was, and to ask for the day off would have
not only raised a few eye brows, but might
have caused hard feelings in the very guys
I need to support and train me for the job.
The first Debbie Kohl Memorial event, held
four years ago, was also my 1st race on
skates.
It was a Recreational 5k on the long track,
I wore my K2 fitness boots and it took me
a hard fifteen plus minutes to finish. A
skater on quads beat me. LOL
A lot has happened between then and now :)
This year, I came very close to placing at
Nationals
Even though I didn't, I learned many valuable
lessons that I'll be sure to put to use in my
training this season.
Skating has been such a surprising venue of
growth for me. Much of it having nothing to
do with the act of skating itself.
Opportunities to move past ideas that no longer
work, and to heal old wounds, abound, at least
for me.
Don't know if it works that way for anyone else..
But, I'll take an open door to growth, when, and
wherever, it decides to show up.
It might not always feel good. Usually,in the
beginning it doesn't.
Yet I do not want to stagnate, so grow I must.

Labor Day Labor

Well, it wasn't all labor but my legs
sure thought so by days end.
Eight of us skater folk gathered at my
coaches house Monday morning, and after
a brief delay climbed into two cars and
drove north east to the Delaware Water
Gap.
The weather couldn't have been nicer for
a walk about!
Our goal, to start out at the Dunnfield
Creek parking lot and hike the 3.7 miles
to Sunfish Pond, a glacial remnant of a
far distant era, have lunch, and then
turn around and come back down.
Only one of our number wore boots, the
rest of us wore normal everyday sneakers,
the running type, or the flat footed "Van"
style skateboard shoes.
The sneaker set would all have a tale to
tell by hikes end, and it was a sorry
story of sore toes, and achy ankles.
Till then, we had a gorgeous mix of fair
weather, beautiful wooded scenery, lot's
of laughs, and the challenge of navigating
over the roots and rocks that covered the
majority of the trail coming and going.
Here I'll admit, that when we were on the
move, I looked down at the trail more than
"around", because when I didn't, I paid for
my lapse by stubbing toes and tripping.
Grace on feet I am not!
LOL
Once we got to Sunfish I was surprised at
all the people there ahead of us. And one
naughty young lady, in another group,
decided to go in for a swim even though
it's well known that it's forbidden.
We didn't stay lakeside very long after
eating the lunches we'd brought up in our
various backpacks.
And on the down mountain return, our always
steady, fearless leader lead us over to a
different trail, (green,) that looked, at
least in the beginning, that it didn't see
much use.
The tight confines opened after a mile or
more and eventually took us into the Dunnfield
Creek ravine. This area is really well worth
whatever hike it takes to get there.
Waterfalls and deep clear pools make it a
spot to savor.
Seven hiking miles doesn't sound like much,
but if your not used to it, it is.
Not only were my toes and ankles sore but
my quads wanted to file a complaint all
their own.
This morning I noticed the return of a tiny
bit of bounce in my step going upstairs, but
yesterday I spent a far amount of time at my
desk massaging the soreness out of my sissy
thighs.
:)

Resistance is Futile

Resistance.
That's my issue.
It's what it feels like when I am
trying to do circle drills. It's as
if I am pushing up against a literal
wall.
Against a thick barrier of mental and
physical blankness.
And resistance is what I feel after
each failed attempt.
Because I push hard against the fact
that I don't know how to do them.
And I bruise my own ego.
Truth is, I would be better off just
living with the idea that I can't do
them.
To accept what is and let it go.
But I don't accept what is happening, I
can't accept my failure, because I want
reality to be different, to be something
other than it is, so I get angry.
Too funny that resisting the inside lean
is my major issue with circles.
And as the Borg say, "Resistance is futile".
So, will I ever be able to give in, to let
go?

Lovely

Having a three day weekend is lovely!
Especially since for at least the next year,
I'll be working six days a week.
Starting next Saturday.
That won't seem so bad after working late in
the file room 3-4 days a week as I did for
the last handful of months.
Now on weekdays, I'll be home at five instead
of seven or eight.
We'll see how it goes.

I've been on a mission at home.
Cleaning, organizing, weeding, recycling,
and gathering clothes we no longer wear for
the thrift store.
Must be the cool air.
Reminds me of fall and the winter to come.
Every year I do the same thing. Maybe it's a
animal like nesting instinct. Don't know for
sure, but I do feel prepared after I do a major
clean up.

Thrift Stores.
I love them!
Sometimes you find absolutely nothing useful
and other times you hit a jackpot.
It's a cool form of recycling.
If you don't get icked out wearing previously
worn stuff.
It's always wash well before wearing!
Saturday I dropped 4 bags of our stuff off at
the thrift store in the south end of town, after
an earlier tour of two stores I'd never been to
just west of us in Emmaus.
It was well worth the trip.
Two new Land's End polar fleece jackets for $10-
each. A light weight Horse Mountain rain jacket
for $5-, and a heavy duty pair of over the ankle
boots to take my motorcycle training course in.
$7-.
Week before this I'd bought 5 pairs of perfectly
good jeans for .85 cents each.
And after I recently shipped back a pair of $185.-
jeans, (yes, one hundred and eight-five) for the
owner of the company I work for, (and who knows
why he sent them back, weren't soft enough?), I
was tickled with my thrift.

Indoor practice.
The first of the new season was Saturday afternoon.
And during that 2 hours, my ego had a hissy fit.
Basics.
Circles.
I seem to have a continuing brain malfunction about
them.
Because I have yet, to figure out physically, how to
manage to do them.
It is frustrating to the max!
By mere seconds, one thing I did manage, was to hold
out over the intense desire to take my skates off and
walk out the door, forever.
It was a close call.
Would I let my pride get the better of me?
I'm always shocked when it rears up like that.
Used to be I thought pride was a strength, now I'm
not so sure it is..

:(

Didn't feel well Wednesday, or yesterday, and it followed
me to practice at Emrick last night.
Not only was I low on "Go" juice, I wasn't in a very good
mood either.
Oh well, some days in rains on the outside, and others on
the inside.
Great thing about weather and health issues, you can count
on them to change, given time.
Late in the practice I hooked up with the fast pack for a
few laps and after that spent another handful of laps getting
as low as I could without messing up my balance.
Cracks me up that what feels so low, isn't very low at all.
I look at my reflexion in the first floor office windows
when I pass by and they tell the real story, not the one
my mind makes up.

He's In (Almost)

My son and I went to the Air Force recruiter
in Bethlehem last night and Austin spent 2 hours
listening, asking questions, taking a practice
ASVAB test and watching a video.
There is no doubt in my mind that this is what
he wants to do, and it looks like they are very
interested in him.
From what I understand, the Coast Guard and the
Air Force are the most difficult services to get
into. And from this initial ASVAB test he shouldn't
have any problem, at least on that front.
He scored double the acceptance figure, without
any study.
Next month he'll take the real deal, sign up for
the delayed entry program in October, and will
be well on his way to a career in the military.
Who knew when he was born that that was the
direction he would choose..
Certainly not me.
He's excited to have started the process and I'm
thankful he won't be sitting in my living room
as a twenty year old playing video games day and
night!
LOL
On the topic of tests, I really wanted to get my
motorcycle learners permit and it took me two
tries to pass the written test this week. And I
studied.
From the people I was next to in line this morning,
I learned that taking more than once to pass any of
the written tests, isn't as uncommon as I thought.
Next on my agenda is the free 15 hour Motorcycle
Safety Course the state of PA. runs for it's
citizens.
I had to have my learners permit to even sign up
for it.
The guy who was running the test process at the
DMV in Allentown couldn't say enough good things
about this course.
His wife took it last month at the same location
I plan to, loved it, passed the practical, got her
license and is having a blast with her new found
skill.
Sounds like fun to me too!

Settling In

It was like I never left, work or practice, and it
was nice to be enthusiastically welcomed back at both.
I really am blessed by the friends I have, on the
job and where I play.
The time off did me good and I felt relaxed all day.
I'd thought having two weeks off would negatively
impact my skating, and that I'd be huffing and puffing
last night, but all the walking I did on vacation must
have kept me fit enough to pick up where I left off.
Fact is, I thought I skated better than when I left.
Was it because I was relaxed?
Spent some time in the faster pack and reveled in
being balanced and stroking smooth and easy lap after
lap.
Once the speed picked up in that pack and moved past
my ability, I had to drop off. There is only so fast
I can go before fatigue sets in and I was quite aware
when my stored fuel had been used up.
Back never bothered me skating but once my boots were
off my lower vertebrae said "HELLO!".
Slept like a rock and that same back was very happy to
spend the dark hours of the night in a familiar bed.

Picking It Back Up

Vacation was fun and it was probably healthy
to take two weeks off from skating.
I took yesterday off of work too and even
though I wasn't able to get everything I
wanted to accomplished, I was busy all day.
Among other things I rearranged the living
room and now my slide board isn't in the middle
of the floor but along the back wall.
I can still use the glass doors of my hutch
as a mirror to check my form so that works.
What once was the TV room has turned into my
training room. LOL
We don't watch TV or get much company,so what
the heck.
Practice at Emrick tonight, and I'm looking
forward to getting my skates back on.
My lower back has been acting up and I think
it well be happier soon.

Home

At 7:15pm we climb aboard the Shuttle to
Seattle whose pick up location is down
the hill at the Seven-Eleven, and we begin
our journey east.
Our first flight leaves at 11:10pm and we
will both try to sleep that one out.
Then it is on to Houston and then to
Cleveland, and then to Allentown.
Should see the tarmac there about 1:30
Sunday afternoon.
I'll miss this Pacific Coast climate,
and it's geology.
And my Dad.
But this isn't my home, it's his.
Took me 6 days to slow my walk down, and
while in Oak Harbor I achieved some clarity
on issues that were, well, issues.
This past week has been like having a
freshening wind blow through the open
windows of my home.
Out with stale and old perspectives, and
in with enticing new ones.
Now I look forward to getting back to my
world.

Can't Beat It

Sitting in a kayak with your son in front
of you, paddling in unison around one of
the islands in the Puget Sound.
Burrows to be exact. (I think) lol
A beautiful day to be on the water and
"Cory", our guide, gushed on about how
lucky we were to have to such a fine day.
The two other girls in our group, Jen and
Rebecka agreed.
Jen, an anaesthesiologist from a hospital
in Seattle, was the smartest among us. She
had, and slathered, her exposed body
parts with sunscreen.
Since the kayak trip was an un-expected
gift,I hadn't even brought a hat from home
so picked one up in town.
Thankfully I have a decent base tan, so in
three hours I got darker with a little
Pacific Coast sunburn. My son on the other
hand just got the sunburn.
He was lobster red last night and pretty
bright this morning.
That's what happens when your a computer
gaming geek and spend every minute online,
inside the house.
LOL
Didn't come across a ton of wildlife, but
we did see Kingfishers, Blue Heron, Harbor
Seals, a Porpoise, Lion Mane Jelly Fish, and
some diving birds.
And of course seagulls.
Once, when we stopped in a cove to chat and
float a while, I pulled my cell phone out
of a pocket on my life vest, and the plastic
bag it was sealed in, then called a friend
on the east coast.
That was just so cool!
Sure, I wasn't on the moon, but technology
can still amaze me.
In a kayak, in the Puget Sound, nothing but
nature in sight, and I can talk to someone
on the other side of the country.
Simple pleasures for the simple minded I
guess..
Not much happening today.
I'll walk the few miles from the Library
back to my Dad's and my son and I are going
to catch a movie later.
I would have loved to have gotten on a Ferry
for the day and gone out to the San Juan's
but I guess that will have to wait for another
visit.
Dad, his wife Lois and my son are content to
read all day and while I chomp at the bit to
get up and moving.
I'll be having to do much more of that when we
get back east, and go on a diet to boot.
We sure have been eating well out here :)
Talk about eating, tomorrow we're going to the
Casino to gamble and have lunch!

Sitting

Ichee Mama!
There's been a lot of siting.
Sitting in the car to get to the airport,
sitting there waiting for plane #1, sitting
in the plane for an hour and a half, sitting
at Dulles waiting for plane #2 and sitting
for 6 hours on a 767 in seat 26D.
Sitting in the Sea Tac terminal for 2 hours,
waiting for the next shuttle to Oak Harbor,
(because we missed the one we were supposed
be on), and sitting in the back seat of that
shuttle for the 2 hour drive north.
Sitting in Dad's car after he picked us up,
and sitting in his living room for an hour
chatting before laying down to go to sleep at
2am, 5am EST.
We sit in the morning, sit in the car, and
sit at night. We sit to eat and sit to talk.
And I'm sitting in the local library as I type
this short entry..
My back is having a hissy fit with the extremely
soft bed in the guest room..
I'm keeping myself less than stiff as a board,
by taking a 1 hour walk twice a day.
Since my Dad lives in "Scenic Vista", it's down
hill to the harbour, via a very interesting nature
preserve, and back up the very steep hill that
gives scenic vista it's view.
Thank God for that hill..
'Cause old people sit a lot!
LOL

Cracks Me Up

That the day we leave for an island in the Puget
Sound, the weather here on the East Coast, which
has been uncomfortably hot and humid, does an
about face, and is now exactly what we will walk
into when we get off the plane in Seattle or at
least greet us every morning in Oak Harbor.
It's not quite 60 degrees at 7:30am
And, to top it all, weather guy says it's going
to stay this way all next week.
Ahh, I would not have missed the drone of the AC
while sleeping in my own bed, windows open, cool
natural air causing me to pull the blanket at my
feet, up around my shoulders.
It's always good to get away though, to break
with routine, our own unique daily rounds.
The one that gives purpose to our lives, or where
we find purpose, because we need to.
With the gift of travel, those bonds are set aside,
if only briefly, blinders off, we look right and
left, not only straight ahead.
Doesn't take long for me to take a deep breath,
and let go, go of all the structure.
It begins at the airport.
When my suitcase goes one way and I go another.
The beginning of being unencumbered for a few days.
It's a sweet taste, freedom.
And like sugar, too much isn't good for you.

Out With The Old

My part time, after work filing job is
a thing of the past.
We finally caught up on the huge backlog,
and the college aged girl who normally
does it should be able to stay on top of
things.
Since indoor practice starts up, a mere
two weeks from now, I won't have to deal
with any conflicts between the two.
And it only took a week for my boss
to come over to my office, shut the door,
and go over the opening in the Parts
Department.
The one my son created when he decided
he didn't want to work his Senior year.
None of the regular counter men want it.
Though, before my son started, they were
all obligated to work one Saturday a month
on a rotational basis.
It seems absence does not make the heart
grow fonder when it comes to working on the
weekend.
For years now, I've taken every opportunity
available to get on the Ford parts counter,
only because of the earning potential, but
no one wanted to take the time to train me,
or anyone for that matter.
Not even the manager before this one.
You had to have experience or forget it.
But now they are desperate.
So my request wasn't dropped like a hot
potato this time and I have even received
the official blessing of the owner of the
company, who I was told, was very pleased
with the idea.
My son thinks I'm nuts to step up to the
retail counter,( where everyone new person
starts) experienced or not.
Then he doesn't pay the bills
Learning this particular job as you go along
is a sink or swim situation. It's not going
to be easy, I've been warned.
My boss learned it that way and he said the
first few months will be awful..
I might even want to quit but if I hang in
I'll eventually pick it up.
Sounds a lot like me and speed skating..
With some things you just have to stick it
out, come hell or high water, before you see
the light at the end of the tunnel.
I'll be sure to check the batteries in my
flashlight..

Thanks

It had been along time, too long.
Years.
That time, and changes in my own
life's path, had put space between
what was once a close friendship.
Close enough that she put her hand
in mine, never pulling it out of my
crushing grip, for the 33 hours of
labor it took for my son to be born.
Nine of those hours while I was in
the hell of non-stop jack hammer like
contractions that came "hand in
hand" with having your child's birth
finally induced.
It wasn't pretty, not at all.
Not like in the movies.
And she stood by me as I struggled
to spit out my boy who seemed to
like it just fine enough where he
was.
She was the one who loved kids. I
was the one who had doubted my
ability to have them, much less be
a decent mother.
Life is weird.
I have a son, she is childless.
We got together for an early dinner
last Saturday.
The last time she'd seen my son was
when he was 2 or 3.
She'd come by the farm with a stray
kitten, that we kept, who is now a
15 year old cat called "Edward".
My son didn't recall her at all.
So we sat across from each other,
after ordering our meals, and caught
up on old news and new.
My son shared what a 17 yr old will
of his world, she listened as I looked
on.
We had a wonderful time and she and
I laughed about stuff that only old
farm girl friends can, and it felt
really good.
We parted with hugs and promises to
not let the years slip by again.
Early the next morning there was an
email from her in my mail box thanking
me for dinner and telling me never
to doubt that I'm a good mother because
my son is "amazing", and my face lights
up when I watch him talk or talk about
him.
And, it's obvious he and I are close.
Your right Kathy, I love him.
Thanks for helping me bring him safely
into this world..
I couldn't have done it without you.