Resistance is Futile

Resistance.
That's my issue.
It's what it feels like when I am
trying to do circle drills. It's as
if I am pushing up against a literal
wall.
Against a thick barrier of mental and
physical blankness.
And resistance is what I feel after
each failed attempt.
Because I push hard against the fact
that I don't know how to do them.
And I bruise my own ego.
Truth is, I would be better off just
living with the idea that I can't do
them.
To accept what is and let it go.
But I don't accept what is happening, I
can't accept my failure, because I want
reality to be different, to be something
other than it is, so I get angry.
Too funny that resisting the inside lean
is my major issue with circles.
And as the Borg say, "Resistance is futile".
So, will I ever be able to give in, to let
go?