No Complaints

Suffice it to say that Friday night was not one
where I slept a lot.
Saturday afternoon I tried to take a nap to make up
for the deficit, but it didn't happen.
So, when it came time to go to practice, I was tried,
sore, and thinking it would much better to stay home,
watch the latest NetFlix DVD's to arrive in my mail
box, and go into recovery mode.
That wasn't what I did.
No.
I went to practice like a good girl.
Lucky me, after a spectator warm up show, we started
out with one of our younger skaters leading the pace
line for some catch the pack so the pace was blessedly
slow.
I'll be darned.
Catching felt good..
I even "asked" to go back out again at the very end.
Our substitute coach of the night said he'd go with me,
and couldn't keep up..
Later we moved onto relays, and after an exhausting
period of two person teams made up of a fast and slower
skater, and going out every two laps, we were formed into
three teams, (mine had five), and it was out every lap.
Man o' man..
It got to a point where I was dying..and I had to let the
coach know.
"one more tag"
OK.
I hammered it.
Don't know where I got the juice from, other than shear
will power alone, but I really hammered it.
What had gotten into me?
Go girl, go!
And then I was done.
For the night.
So, it was a short practice for me, but a good one..

Relief

There was a long pace line at practice last night, with
a handful of skaters from other teams joining us.
The more the merrier!
And it was a relief to get moving again. I was beginning
to feel like a lazy slug with so much time off.
My wheels found the floor slick, and I felt the need to skate
cautiously, so no passing even when the opportunity presented
itself.
With my right knee still bruised and sore, and my left MLC
iffy, I'm not taking any chances for now.
Woke up with my lower right back gitchy, but it's just from
non-use and then use.
It will pass.
All in all, even though Nationals is out of the picture for
me in 2008, I believe I'm going to kick it up another notch
this season.
Might not ever be the best, but I will be a damn sight better
than I was when I started out.
LOL

Talked to my son last night about me dating.
After it just being him and I for eight years, it was important
for me to know just how he was feeling about the changes in my
life.
Getting it out in the open was the right thing to do and now I
can move forward with a clear mind.

On Idle

Not sleeping through the night,
both knees hurt,
left hip hurts
I need to skate..

Christmas Cheer

Got together yesterday with friends and family over a table
heaped with good food and drink, and had a great day :)
Hitching a ride to the festivities and back, I was able to
enjoy a few glasses of red with dinner, and was feeling fine
by wine in no time at all.
lol
It's my favorite way to spend Christmas day, and I truly
enjoyed catching up with the people I don't see that often.

Back to work today, and I am looking forward to it.
Having six days off was simply wonderful..
Got a lot done, got a lot of rest and going back on a three
day work week is the way to go!
Five days off skating and I can't wait to get back out on the
floor.
I miss it.
Making plans for New Years..
MM,MM,MM..

MM, MM, MM

As Patti Labelle sang it..

OK.
I wore jeans, short sleeved shirt with matching
jacket, gold hoop earrings and a small amount of
gel in my hair.
LOL
During dinner, the waiter was jokingly accused of
flirting with me, so I guess I looked OK.
;)
Afterwards we walked around the grounds of Peddlers
Village in Lahaska checking out their amazing display
of Christmas lights. All trees mind you, and done so
well, with different color combinations that it made
me stop and gasp with wonder.
Magical..
Then we drove down into quaint New Hope, stepped into
a few visually appealing stores, and journeying among
the this and that, met several super interesting shop
owners.
In the process of talking to them, we learned more about
each other.
Cool.
Oh, and kissing?
It does come back to ya..

OK

This afternoon I'm skipping practice so I can go out on
a date.
And I'm feeling a bit guilty about it.
But, I'm going anyway.
Seems I have knowingly walked in to the front door of a one
on one relationship.
There were two weeks between our first and second date, this
afternoon will make the third, so that's not running/galloping,
into it right?
Dating in midlife is similar to thirty years ago, except I have
thirty years of living and memories that come with me.
Some things are the same though.
What should I wear?
These jeans or those khakis?
Long sleeves or short?
My hair?
Gel, no gel?
These earrings or those?
God!
Have I forgotten how to kiss?
What if he wants more than I'm ready to give?

Holiday

Today is the first day of six, count them, six days,
that I have off in a row.
And I woke up tired and cranky..
What's up with that?
Of course I went to bed late, after a hard practice
and eating chocolate covered pretzels and cinnamon
crumb cake to refuel.
Then, at an hour no one in their right mind would call
morning, the rescue dog started barking to go out, or
eat, or to inform me he had an itchy butt.
That happened at 4am "and" 5am on the dot.
Does he wear a watch?
Mr. Tubbs, yeah, that's really his name, does this almost
every weekday morning, but this time I seriously considered
killing him when I got downstairs.
Not a fantastic thought during the Christmas season.
But a dead dog "is" a quiet dog...

Practice

Funny how much I miss it when we don't have one for a few days.
With the holidays here there is a slow down in our schedule.
Between the rink being busy with birthday parties and this or
that, it makes for a little natural "off season" in the on going
season that is inline speed skating.
Once the New Year arrives and all the calorie laden holiday food
has been consumed,it will be time to get back on track so to speak.
2008 will be a year of big changes.
With all the events going on in my sons life next June & July, like
High School graduation, turning eighteen, and then going into the
Air Force, I have had to put Nationals off till 2009.
In doing so I need to re-formulate my goals.
And I'm not sure what to do there.
But I don't do well long term without a goal in site.
It's too hard to keep focused without one.
Could be I don't have the clearest vision on how I'm skating, but
except for my starts, I think I've come a long way in 2007 and know
I can do better.
And as always, I owe my continuing development to my coach and team.
That, and getting to practice 3-4 nights a week and lacing my boots
up.

As The World Turns

After a period of stillness, so long standing that I used
it as a backdrop to paint the picture of my days, when desire
wasn't a word I used anymore, even to think with, when my life
had a structure that was solid and safe, along comes a southerly
breeze..

There had been portents.
Times when I thought I smelled rain in the air.
That afternoon a single cloud in the north set off alarms.
And my heart jumped in my chest.
Trying to catch those first precious drops on my tongue, I
felt as giddy as a schoolgirl.
Like drinking the small amount of wine parceled out at Holy
Communion as a child, and having it go to my head in a single
heart beat.

That cloud passed me by.
Keeping it's fullness for some other field, in some other
valley.

Ah well.
Nature has it's way with us.
I had celebrated too soon.
My mistake.

This new weather system, building up in the south, I'm keeping
my eye on.
To early to tell what impact it might have on my fallow fields,
but my body says there is rain in the air..

Skating

It still challenges me, and brings me pleasure.
I can't make it to Nationals in 2008, still,I'm
working on the goals I put together after the
excitement of Omaha this past July.
Keeping my head low and forward is one of them.
and it's essential.
Now that I'm going a little faster, if I don't
stay well over my feet,I'm screwed.
There seems to be a sweet spot for me.
When I hit it, skating is a rush.
I believe I can go faster.
How much?
Don't know.

Saturday I took a dive over a skater who went down
right in front of me. And though I moved in to the
left to miss his sprawled body, my right foot caught
his back hard, (not good for him),I hit the floor
with all my weight on my right knee and hyper extended
my left at an awkward angle.
For a second I watched as my left foot twisted out
towards the inside of the track and my knee to the
outside, and felt/heard it "pop".
Then I was my side on the floor in what felt like
the fetal position.
Now I've hit the floor hard enough in the last four
years to see blue lights dancing around my head and
I've been knocked silly more times than I can count.
But I always get up ASAP.
It's nothing special, it's my nature.
This time, I could not get up.
My knees hurt that bad.
Though not as bad as the time I got bucked off a young
horse I was training and landed on both knees in a pile
of rocks.
That time I had to choke back vomit.
Vomit that threatened to make an exit due to the extreme
pain I was in.
Up to that point in life I hadn't known you could hurt so
bad that you toss lunch.
(I hadn't gone through labor yet..)
Saturday caught me by surprise.
I was slower getting up than usual and worried.
The pop had been there, no doubt about it, and that part
of my knee hurt like a mother.
Yet after icing it for a bit, I got back on the floor,
skated decently and three days later, though it's sore, and
I wouldn't want to be kicked in it, it's totally usable.
OK.
Cool.

Evolution, on so many levels..

Dating

Honest.
It was unintentional.
Like going into the grocery store for one particular
item and walking out with something else.
With a newly purchased motorcycle sitting out in my
garage, I was looking for someone, or someones, to ride
with.

Cyber sites for meeting people, seemed like a good way
to get that ball rolling.
It's very 21st century.

So after spending hours sifting through what felt like
thousands of profiles and pictures, on three different
sites, answering countless "I want to get to know you"
emails, making a handful of phone calls and having two
actual face to face meetings, I find myself interested
in one person enough, and he in me, to start seeing each
other on a regular basis.
Born exactly two weeks and five years apart, we seem
to share a basic nature.
Of course it's too early to tell where this will go or
for how long, but it's very pleasant to be comfortable
together.

And he isn't my type.
Or what I thought my type was.

Now when your over forty, the life you bring to the table
is a full one.
And often messy.
Unlike teenagers who are practically clean slates when
they begin dating, adults have years of life experience
that can turn into complex stories, and connections.
Kids and ex-wives fit in here.
So if we move beyond a few dates, cross the line and start
truly relating, it won't be a single man, but a whole clan,
that I'll be getting involved with.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it..

The Library

The online sites where men go to meet women and vis versa,
are like big libraries of people.
Lined up neatly, row upon row, according to age and zip code,
not subject matter, faces look out at the browser, me, much
like the covers of books.
And like the cover of a book, you often can't tell how good
the story inside is, till you pull it off the shelf, sign it
out, and start at page one.
Just like books, it's very easy to judge humans, and perhaps
be mistaken, about their contents, by what they look like on
the outside..
Yet what else can you do.
You can't take every book out of the library and you can't
date every guy.
Not unless you have an extraordinary amount of free time on
your hands..

ShiftingBoundries

More questions..
Not answers.
What was settled, now feels un-settled.

So many stories..

I am a stranger in a very strange land.
Opening the gate let others in, not just
the horse out..

What's the saying about the barn door?