Making It Happen

Over this past year I've taken a turn for the better
when it comes to speed skating.
Everyone tells me that I've made great progress, and
have recently reached a new level in my racing.
Can't say it ain't so. Because the proof "is" in the results,
and even being self effacing, I can not deny it.
Fact is I've taken a turn for the better in several areas
of my life.
As for the skating end of things, it's my belief that the
improvement is there due to the coaching I receive,
the non-stop support of my team mates, and selfishness
on my part.
Yes.
I'm becoming self centered.
Focused.
In my training, in what I want my skating to be.
Less of my thinking is about the other guy/gal, and
what they are doing, or what they need or desire.
It's weird for me to feel that way.
Two examples are from the Meet on Sunday.
I wanted to be at the first cone after the start before
the gal behind and to the right of me.
She wanted it too.
Just as much.
And the flashing color of what she was wearing, holding
steady in the corner of my right eye, all the way up the
straightaway, told me so.
Along with her pounding feet.
If it was cookies she had wanted I'd have given her mine.
But not the first cone.
I wanted it and I stepped in front of her with inches to
spare and robbed her of her desire.
And I didn't feel bad.
I felt good.
The second example was after a false start during my
Veteran 500m.
I'd never been on the line at a race and had someone
jump before.
We shot off at the gun, the whistle blew and we all
straightened, rolled out, and swung left and back around
behind the judges table to line up again.
The other two ladies went straight over to line up.
I didn't.
Instead I rolled slowly in a larger arc and they had
to wait for me.
Looking down at the floor I took the time I needed to
regroup, to focus, to still my mind.
There was a brief thought that I might be taking too much
time and I'd make the referees mad, they were waiting
too, but it came and went.
It was about what I needed and wanted, not them.
This is not how I usually do things.
Usually I'm all about service, about doing for others.
Racing and doing for others on a 100m track don't mix.
I read the following last year on Andrew Loves' "Zen And
The Art Of Speedskating".
He had heard it from someone else but I don't remember
who..

"You must race in your own lane, and I mean that
mentally as well as physically".

I wrote that in my journal in August of 2006 and
am just beginning to appreciate what it means.
I wrote this in my journal at the same time:

"Sturdy Girl Racing"

"Eliminate The Fear,
Embrace The Power,
Love The Skates."

So much of speedskating is mental....