Dream Time

I've been having some vivid dreams lately and as
is common, I dream in color and am aware I'm
dreaming.
Aware, but I let it go, and don't make any effort to
control what happens.
And I am so transparent!
What a laugh!
So in my dream I'm at what looks to be a Navel
training center with my son, standing at a desk in a
waiting room with young men and women all around
me who are busy putting last minute details together
for their soon to begin training and service.
I notice small things, like how each recruit gets to choose
a nickname and have a little pin on their blouse that
signifies their choice.
One girl has picked "Snowball".
(hey it's a dream!)
Stadium seating rises up behind a long glass
window and overlooks the initial phase of training.
So, those waiting get to see what they are in for and
just what it is exactly they will have to endure.
Below us is a twisting frame work of metal on several
levels with ramps to crawl up and fire hoses at the ready
to spray freezing water on trainees as they pass by.
I watch for some time and looking behind me see that
almost everyone preparing to go out the door and take
their turn is cute, blond and female.
Wow I think, not a plain girl in sight.
There is no number, no line, no official calling your name.
You go when you are ready.
And no one waits for long.
It's all about walking forward to what they know will be
hard, what these volunteer recruits know will challenge
them and cause them to suffer, for awhile.
They also know they will likely come out the other end
battered and bruised a bit, but whole, and on their way
to being pilots and the like.
A girl behind me asks when I'll be going down to take
my turn and I tell her that I'm 51 and too old, though I
would have wanted to do it when I was younger.
She tells me I don't look my age and should think about
joining up anyway.
Sure, it will be hard she says, but the pain doesn't last
forever.
I think about that for a moment and know it's true.
Pain never lasts forever..
I need to remember that..
Then I remember something else.
I'm not blond, or cute.
I am not what they are..
And I wake up.
Yeah..