Growth

Some times you do and some times you don't.
Opportunities present themselves and you can
say yes or no to shedding the tight skin that's been
holding your life together, and protecting you from
the elements.
No one ever finds the skin we leave behind, we
aren't snakes, but some quite insightful people
aware of the process when it starts, can with a
word or two, tug gently on the really tight spots
that don't want to let go.
Last time I saw Jane was seven years ago after
the death of someone I loved very much.
She hasn't changed in appearance, and I felt
comfortable immediately sitting there in her
study, as we spent a few minutes getting caught up.
Jane is a counselor, and I've chosen her to help
me shed my skin.
To dig deeper than I can go own my own, to put
the words my heart is speaking to me into sentences,
ones that provide me clearer vision.
See, there is a wound in my back that I received in
the dawning days of my life.
Facing forward, when I look in the mirror on my
bedroom door, I don't see it.
Nor do I want to look at that weak ugly thing.
It's always there though.
I've done a pretty good job of living day by day,
year by year and not let the blood show, to not bleed
outwardly.
Last year that changed.
Just once or twice my wound was visible to me, and
friends.
And now, this year too.
I can't hide anymore.
It won't let me ignore that part of who I am any
longer.
Like the spot you can't reach to scratch with your own
hand, I need help.
I am thankful to have it in more quarters than one..

Late practice last night was decent, even with no nap
before hand.
No doubt I was sloppy about some things but what
I was taught previously is coming into play and I'm
learning.
Up starts are better for my back but are they better
on the clock?
Playing with how I present myself to the start line,
facing a tad sideways didn't work as well as facing
forward did last week, but we will tweak that and
find a position where I can be still before the gun
goes off, yet be powerful in once it does.
Growing there too..