Sticks & Stones

You know the rest.
"will break your bones, but names will never hurt you".
At least that's what my adoptive mother used to tell me.
On the playground, names did hurt, along with punches to
the stomach.
Out of the mouths of babes... the words they used to taunt
with, hurt the worst.
Anyway, because of the way I grew up, and all the different
households I spent time in as I grew, I was called a lot of
things, not all of them proper names.
Never in one place for very long, I never had one first name
for very long.
Talk about identity theft.
These changes were due to adoption, and several sets
of foster parents.
Here's the run down on first names:
Christy Ann, Jocelyn, Jossie, Joss, Little Jo, Jo, Joie.
Guess that's not so many names now that I look at the list..
yet it's more than average.
I stopped identifying with a single name somewhere along
the line as a kid.
I just was.
Every time I was moved, new "parents" put their own spin
on my name, just a little different than the last.
Even my name wasn't built on solid ground..
I was "Jo" for a handful of years.
People who really knew me called me Jo, and I hated it.
I thought it was a dike name.
So when I went to trade school as a horribly shy, trying
to make it on my 17yr. old, and was taken around to be
introduced to the rest of the students, and mistakenly
introduced as "Joie", I was OK with it.
A new home, a new life, the first of my own making, and
a new first name.
Since then my last name has changed because of marriage,
and divorce, but I've been "Joie" for 34yrs.
So what I find amusing, is that now, when ever someone
calls me "Jo", due to a close friendship, ties to the past,
or mistake, I soften on the inside.
There isn't much difference between all the "J" names I've
had, not like going from Barbara to Darlene, or Susan to
Patty, but there is a subtle difference between them all,
and I am aware of each one deep in my skin.
They are invisible tattoos.
This morning as I walked by his office, I called in a cheery
"Good morning!" to the owner of the company.
He returned my greeting saying, "Hello Jo!".
He is the only one who shortens my already short handle,
the only one who uses that name here.
Somehow it gives him in intimacy with me.
One he isn't aware of...