Tradeoffs

Yesterday I followed through with a trade off I'd
only recently made, and traded outdoor skating and
racing for cycling.
Though I started out almost five years ago as a
outdoor fitness skater,and have enjoyed countless
hours training with my team, I never found pleasure
in the actual part of racing outdoors itself..
Longer distances on skates are tough for me.
They're not a piece of cake for anybody in fact.
For me they hurt bad.
Mind numbingly bad.
At this point in time, it is more pain than I am
willing to embrace with happy thoughts.
Now I'll be the first to admit that I have never
been, and at this stage doubt I will ever be,
athletically gifted.
Yet I've participated in many types of sport
throughout my life, and I don't plan on stopping
that now.
Since I've never excelled, (well I was a decent
enough swimmer),I've had to find meaning racing
a race, among large groups of other athletes, by
myself.
Because I'm slow.
Speed is not my forte.
Nor, I've found, at this point, is suffering.
I can grasp working hard, but suffering for pleasure
is not in me.
Part of me wishes that was different..
Part of me, wishes I were different than I am..
In my heart there is nothing but admiration for
those who race outdoors.
Those who suffer for it.
They simply rock!
But it isn't for me anymore..