Hanging It Up

If you took a vote among the people I work with
everyday, the winner of the "should she still keep
skating or quit" question, quit would come out on
top.
Friday morning I heard the story about when and
why my boss finally hung up his ice hockey skates.
(a game he'd played since youth and dearly loved),
About injuries and responsibilities and the aging
body.
I'd asked for his opinion since he is a respected
Coach of several baseball and basketball youth
Teams.
"You'll find something else to do", was he reply
to my statement, "But skating is a big part of my
life. It's what I do".
Battered inside and outside, I'm a bit spooked.
And that spooked part showed up in spades at
our Team practice today, uninvited,unwelcome.
It held me hostage.
I know skaters fall and break wrists and ankles,
shatter leg bones, chip fragments off their hips
and worse, and that 99% of them begin training and
racing as soon as possible.
I know.
And I didn't bled or even need stitches.
Yet three days ago I had a clear picture of who I was
as a skater, but now, feeling depressed and nauseous,
I just don't.