Six

Six practices till Nationals.
And I'm already thinking about what to
pack!
Last night's feeling of trepidation when
practice started surprised me. It wasn't
something I was expecting.
There it was though, rising out of my
body memory, on a cellular level, I felt
tentative, questioning each corner.
Would the floor hold?
Once, the weeny part of me even asked if
I really needed to do this..
My answer was to keep skating.
Half a dozen times my eyes flicked to the
door I'd crashed into on Thursday, but at
the end of our two hour practice I wasn't
even thinking about it.
The things that hurt immediately after the
crash, as I was still laying on my back,
the left ankle and big toe, are hardly
noticeable now.
Yet the biceps on my left arm and triceps
on my right are sore, even to the touch.
Of course my lower back is painful where
the bruise is.
I learned the hard way that touching is not
always a good thing, and in this instance,
I need to keep my fingers and anything else,
off the boo-boo on my lower back..
All in all I was happy with practice.
Of course there were lots of sprints, but
the good thing about sprints, is they are
generally short, and you have a place between
each to catch a bit of breath.
When I ask myself if I am ready for July 15th,
the first day of racing in Omaha, I know I am.
There is no doubt.
At this point, where I place isn't the issue.
The issue is skating well,
Of being determined, focused on the laps in
front of me.
Just how well can I skate nervous?
I'm going to find out.
One thing I know, I am not the same person
I was four years ago when I first put on a
pair of fitness skates. I didn't even know
then that there was such a sport as inline
speed skating.
My evolution had been both inner and outer.
There was a time I could not imagine going
any faster, faster than what to me now is
painfully slow.
I learned that "fast" is relative.
That even the slowest people can grasp new
skills, if they don't give up.
Last night I didn't stay in all the drills
to the very end. The fastest, strongest
people did.
Yet, I didn't think less of my self because
of it, as I used to do.
That's because I "know" I'm going to get
faster.
It's not a hope or a dream, it's a fact.
What I could not begin to imagine a few years
ago is now doable, what I could not perceive
of a year ago is more possible than a dream.
This might not be the Nationals where I stand
on the podium.
But it will be the Nationals I put my heart
into when the gun goes off.
My body won't need reminding what it's there
to do, it knows..